My body is in shambles,
Broken into a million pieces.
It takes every bit of me,
Every bit of concentration, thought, feelings, breathe,
To keep myself from shattering.
All of my energy to will myself glued together.
I have nothing to give.
You could shatter me,
dissolve me to nothing,
scatter me to the wind with a word.
I can’t trust you with my fragile self in your hands.
It’s always been me keeping you together.
Keeping your pieces in place.
My full time job.
I always thought you would do the same for me,
but how can you when you, if you don’t know how?
My hands are full, holding myself together.
I can’t give. I can’t please. I can’t save you.
And you are angry.
I’m so full of sadness, loss, pain, worry.
I have no place for your anger,
I can see it, but I can’t feel it.
I know I should be worried about you,
But can’t muster the feelings, the care, the want to.
I call your bluff.
The world doesn’t revolve around you.
Do your worst.
Spin out of control, land where you may.