sometimes i wonder how the people with worth must feel.
you know,
the people with endless amounts of talent.
the people with endless amounts of support systems.
the people that tell you that YOU have worth.
the ones who don\'t believe it.
they say these things to boast about how far they have come,
never actually intending you you to follow
in their footsteps
as believable as their speech may be.
sometimes i sit and cry and feel every emotion as clear as the moon
and mourn
at the loss off my successful self,
even though i still have the potential to keep her alive.
i lose motivation easily
and i gain motivation easily
and that is what it is like to live in my brain
a constant wave pool of
\"i-will-fix-this-and-every-thing-will-be-okay\"
and \"i-cant-even-sleep-for-nine hours-because-my-mind-continues-to-wake-me-so-how-can-i-expect-myself-to-clean-up-my-act-before-it-is-too-late\"
sometimes i feel nothing
sometimes i sit and bore a hole
into the wall and go completely and utterly numb
i hear my name being called
but i don\'t answer because the state that i am in
keeps the monster from breaking the barrier
and grabbing at me
screaming \"did you actually think it was going to be that easy?\" in my face
and so i stay there
numb and not hearing
not seeing
not even thinking
just staring and wondering
how those people feel.
the people that tell me that i have worth.