A sensitive soul is what some say
But on the worst days,
Every fibre of my being is alight
With anger and loathing, it causes quite a fright
Until my nerves and my soul and my brain explode
I can\'t take it anymore, I can\'t carry this load.
All the troubles in my heart rise and scream
Gun powder, bullets, a flash of bright colour,
I must contain it, it cannot be seen,
This display is mine, a desolate dream
But then the worst occurs,
And emptiness sets in,
Numbness, isolation
I can\'t feel a thing
I\'m scared of myself
And what I might do
Everything vs nothing
I\'m not sure what I\'d choose
The grass is always greener on the other side,
Or 6 foot under.
A war is raging inside my head
But you\'d never see it
Through smiles or tears
I won\'t torture you with my fears.
Diagnosis didn\'t ease the pain
There are more questions now and nothing to gain
I speak about it to strangers in poems
But in real life, fake smiles are overflowing
I practice \"I\'m fine\" until I almost believe it
But please, somebody see through the lies
Tell me I\'ll be ok, I can\'t tell myself
Because you can\'t trust what you despise