I hurt myself to see if I can still feel, I cut myself to see if I can still heal, to see if God still loves me enough to keep me around, I cut deep enough to pull me back to reality but not enough to say goodbye.
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I don\'t understand why I\'m put through all of this shit, I don\'t know why people like me have to deal with this shit day and night when happiness is within reach, but it feels like you have to go through Hell first.
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I fall in love with that one and then I\'m immediately damned because she doesn\'t feel the same and I\'m the monster for having feelings.
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I fall in love with that one and even though it\'s a love that goes both ways, I\'m still damned.
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I want to pull the trigger, I want to tighten the noose, I want to run the blade down and deep till the crimson tide circles me with hungry vicious sharks circling for my lost soul.
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But I don\'t, no matter how much pain and suffering and fucking heartache my heart is put through, I fight through it all like a damn soldier.
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I\'m tired though, sick and tired of falling in love and hitting the ground like Neo.
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Yeah, I know better, I know love is not what life\'s all about, I know there\'s more, but I can feel the age of my soul burning like how I can feel the tip of this blade and the burn of this rope around my neck.
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I just want to be able to make someone happy, I want to be able to say I love you and feel it when they say it back. But I guess my soul is just too damned to settle down and fall in love.