Dear Gretchen the Cheerleader,
I wasn’t a masochist when I met you,
but these days it’s getting more difficult to tell.
Weren’t we juniors in highschool,
when you said “Gays will burn in hell” ?
Well, Gretchen that got me thinking,
and I gotta say- What the fuck?
‘Cause hell’s where I’ve been hanging,
now isn’t that dumb luck?
So this is your formal invitation;
bring your miniskirt if you can.
We may be through being “girl friends”,
but Gretchen, I’ll always be your man.
Oh, and you know this is really where you belong,
you’re no better than the rest.
Gretchen, the evil lesbians have got plans for you
to which the devil can attest.