11/13/17
I can scarcely find the words to emulate the way I feel, so maybe my actions can explain it clearer.
Today:
Woodwick candles, tea gone chill- almost as cold as my toes are since I lost my socks in bed somewhere,
Where I still am, in bed.
I pour a new mug of tea for dinner, just that, because my stomach can’t be more full than my heart.
This evening:
Write a thousand poems and throw all but one away, I moved to my computer desk and on the way my pants got lost,
Lost where I am, here at home.
I put out my candles and at the same time the fire in my heart goes out and numbness overcomes me,
Tonight:
Meaningless snapchat stories that lead to meaningless men in my dm’s, dim the lights,
Lights give headaches, tea can’t cure.
A new cup of tea is on my night stand along with a vinyl that’s spinning even though I can’t hear the music anymore,
Midnight:
I found my socks and some sweat pants, then I’m lingering over a stack of journals with the pages all coated in tears,
Tears fill my teacup, I’m secretly lonely.