In the past year I have lost and I have gained. I have experienced devastation. I have watched people change including myself. I have watched my family fall apart. I have gone through things I never imagined. I went through the past year without my brother, my best friend, my soulmate and it was terrible. It still is terrible. In the past year I have matured in ways and I have immatured in ways. In the past year I lost sight of who I am as a person. In the past year I have put a wedge between a lot of relationships. In the past year I have questioned life in ways I probably shouldn\'t. In the past year I have tried to take my life away. In the past year I have yet to find ways to cope without you being here. In the past year I have felt out of control. In the past year I have never felt so lost....