1/30/18 10:29PM
The day and night I shaved my beard
Was one filled with tacos
For some strange reason
I took it upon myself to go out
We were there to meet some girls
It was Tuesday
I should’ve known
What do you do?
Nothing, really
Well that’s lovely
I guess we’ll just sit here
And warm up our beers
So that we’ll have to drink more
One’s name was Lizard
Or maybe she just looked like one
The others were Lonnie and Adrian
It sounds like they’re mafiosos
Out to break kneecaps
But I bet even mob guys wouldn’t want to whack them
Even the townies hate the townies
There are families here
After a quick discussion of twerk methods
I had to scream help
So I mouthed an SOS to the dark haired beauty paying her tab
But I guess I was guilty by association
I couldn’t even watch TV
The most classic of distractions
They were showing videos of hunting
And for the first time
I was envious of the buck
The best song I heard all night was I love College
By Asher Roth
They don’t even go to college
Just in it for the drinking
We have a lot in common I guess
Add this place to my list of “never agains”
If this place had better beer I’d be more sad
I’ll miss the bartender who poured me extra whiskey
Is that a double?
Yeah
I’m not sure that’s a double
And then she shushed me
Probably the most inspiring conversation all night
The best part is, I probably could’ve fucked the Lizard girl
If I still had a beard