Jessica Tawney

Mental Illness and Addiction

My mental illness and addiction
have been such a deadly affliction
All day long I lay in bed and cry
Why do I even try?
When my depression and anxiety make me wanna say goodbye
Everything makes me wanna die.
There is so much heartache and strife
I have no purpose in life.
My only options are to pick up this knife
or the meth pipe
But the pipe is not enough anymore
to even get me up and outta bed
My legs feel like they are lead.
I wish I were numb and didn\'t have to face all this dread
I just want freedom from my thoughts and head.
But on the inside I\'m already dead
To most people I\'m insane.
But when I stick a needle in my vein
I feel no pain
and for a few minutes everything is okay
All my problems just seem to fade away.
My emotions are numb
but I don\'t like what I\'ve become.
Addiction is so hard to overcome.
My life decisions lead me to jail.
I ended up with a conviction.
I wish it had all been just fiction.
I ended up taking a plea
I wish I could foresee
What would become of me.
When I overdosed
I hurt my family the most
But the pain is so real
I just don\'t wanna feel.
I am filled with doubt
that I can never go without.
People judge me when they don\'t even know me.
If people could only see
what I\'m really like on the inside they would disagree
I have so much compassion
and animals are my passion.
There is so much stigma on people with a mental disease
That it makes them at unease
People get scared of what they don\'t understand.
Society needs to be more informed and expand
there information and education
Then maybe there would be a realization
that we are people too and should be taken into consideration.
Just because you have a disease doesn\'t mean you should be treated with disrespect
I bet everything you heard was incorrect.