Once again, a fake smile is in order
And as I plaster one on my face
A small feeling sits in the back of my mind
And all throughout the day it haunts me
And taunts me
It wants me to give in and cry
Admittedly, so do I
But I don’t
Because people need me
They need me for support
They need me for a smile
They need me for a laugh
They need me to be strong
So I push my troubles aside
To make room for theirs
And I continue to be there for them
But is anyone seeing through my mask?
Does anyone notice when I am truly hurting
When I apparently hide it so well?
I hate this feeling
This empty, lonely feeling
This unavoidable feeling
This inevitable feeling
That will drag me back into the darkness
And leave me there
Enveloped in shadows
With an overwhelming feeling of everything and nothing
I wish I didn’t feel like this
I don’t get work done
I don’t get tasks done
I’m not genuinely happy
I want to be
They need me
For help
For an answer to their cry
For someone to talk to
For someone to make them feel less lonely
I enjoy helping them and making them feel better
But sometimes the person that everyone leans on
Is the person who needs a shoulder to cry on