yellowisacolor

Uncle

You make me feel like I\'ve done something wrong-

Like I\'ve done something to deserve this.

You make me hate myself because I\'ll never be who I once was-

I\'ll never be who I could\'ve been.

You make me feel like no one will ever want me because you hurt me-

You damaged me.

You make me feel scared to be alone with anyone ever again

Because what you did to me was so completely awful.

You make me want to die rather than tell anyone what you\'ve done to me

Because for some goddamn reason,

I\'m the one who feels ashamed and disgusted with myself.

I\'m the one who thinks I\'ve done something unforgivable-

Like I had any choice in it at all.

 

You\'re the one who shouldn\'t want to show your face in public.

You\'re the one who should be scared and constantly looking over your shoulder.

You\'re the one who should be paying the ultimate consequence-

Not me.

I did nothing wrong;

I was only five years old when this started-

You are forty years older than me.

 

Yet, here I am:

Letting my life slip away

While you\'re out living your life:

Calling and tormenting me.

 

No more.

I will not let you win.

I will not give you the satisfaction in having power over me.

I win.

Not you.