FredPeyer

Death is Overrated (A Humorous Short Story)

Death is overrated.

 

If you assume an average life expectancy of 75 years which is 27,375 days, your odds to die on any given day is 1:27,375.

 

So why are you afraid of death? You should worry more about suffering an accidental injury from a firearm discharge (1:6,000), or being struck by lightening (1:10,000).

Even getting hurt from fireworks (1:19,556), getting injured by a chainsaw (1:4,464), or cutting yourself shaving (1:6,585) is much more likely at any given day, than dying.

 

Being considered possessed by Satan (1:7,000) is nearly four times more likely to happen at any given day, than dying.

 

And we don’t even want to talk about being audited by the IRS (1:175), having your identity stolen (1:200), or getting hemorrhoids (1:25), all of which will be from 136 to 1095 times more likely than dying that day.

 

Just think, the chance that the earth will experience a catastrophic collision with an asteroid in the next 100 years is 1:5,000 which means it is more than five times more likely to happen at any given day than you dying.

 

This, I think, puts death into perspective. If it is five times more likely to be hit by an asteroid tomorrow than to die, then worrying about dying does not make any sense. If you need to worry about something, worry about asteroids.

 

If you are over 75 years old, each day the odds of dying increase by one. At 80 years old your odds are 1:29,200, and at 82.2 years old you pass the 1:30,000 mark. So, the older you get, the higher the odds!

 

This is just great, and should be an occasion to celebrate life, instead of worrying about death!

 

And keep in mind that tomorrow you will be 2737.5 times more likely to catch the flu (1:10) than having to say goodbye to this beautiful life!