You hate me and i don\'t care
you love me and i don\'t think that\'s fair.
I tried my best but i know that i will
never be part of the show.
I know in my heart that i will never make it.
I want to be happy but i know i dont deserve it.
Im emotionless but you might define as sad.
Im walking down the cave. No light. All the same.
I am just trying to stop the tears from falling..
So instead i end up smiling.
I listen to music to help me get through the day.
I listen because the beat is good but then i hear the lyrics.
The lyrics describe me to a degree.
Smiling use to be effortlessly i miss those days.
Friends use to not be fake. what happened then?
And everyday i say the same
\"im tired\" Yet that\'s not it.
Im breaking not healing. I think
Nobody can help me.
Im not living im surviving.
And i know that i say goodbye
Way to many times but soon it will be real.
A little hope is inside that is stuck there
Not wanting to leave that is keeping me
Here.
Why is my heart beating fast when nothing
Is happening?
Yes i know if i stop touching this wound
It will heal but i dont think thats the case.
Im already below the basement and
trying to get out there before the walls break
And i am below more than i already am.
I hurt and i cry but you can\'t see because
It\'s hidden behind a smile.
My voice obviously is not loud
Because nobody hears,
And im feeling hurt.