The silence in my head.
I\'m used to being alone.
When I smoke, someone will ask me for a lighter.
If I bother to put make up on, a drink.
But, I am alone.
I don\'t remember.
No nuclear Family.
Some drinking buddies,
but I am alone.
When I see distance relatives at Easter or Christmas-I babble words and thoughts I never knew had entered my head till that moment..
I can see me in them -a little..
and when I speak, I can see their fright!
The fright I don\'t acknowledge.
Their opinion of me faults and they \'runaway\'.
I wish I could too.
I\'m sure if I ended it..
they would cry.
It would have been better if I cut myself off.
May be they would know I was similar to them-and that would be frightening!
may be they would have changed?
But I am not them, I\'m ME.
Privileged and tragic.
Lives will move on-I will be forgotten.
A tragic tale of the relative who couldn\'t live.