CUT: I woke up today.....fuck. Another day.
First thing.....i light my cigarette
Second , i play a song ....i reminisce
Next thing ...im crying and im pleading in my head ....please...make this go away...make me not feel this....just take it away....god my head hurts.....im not blinking...almost catatonic if not already......my body...my mind....is on auto pilot....tears running down my face...my heart beating hard like itll lose its place and fall somewhere deep into my body......im in the bathroom.....i open the cabinet...i remember where my mom put the razors. I grab it.....play a tune...run my bath water.....its hot...makes my skin easier to slice.....one...two....there is blood.....3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10!!!!!.. I watch it seep out....im calm....im okay....i can get through today.