One
Just one cut, just one.
I promise myself, but I know deep down one cut will turn into
2,
than 3,
4,
even 5.
As I add up cuts, the deeper I’d go.
I crave the feeling though.
The feeling of relief, of feeling, deserving, of control.
Although I do not have “control”.
it controls me.
Therefore no.
Not even “one” cut.
I have power, a choice.
I cannot will not let cutting control me.
-clean 3 weeks