Karoline

Lacking

I was created with intent.

You raised me carefully

Like a hot house flower

Sheltered from the outside world,

Yet trapped inside

A little storm

 

I was a child.

Difficult. Innocent. 

I did not understand 

Why I should be more like you

When to be anyone but myself

Severed me

 

I lashed out 

Again and again,

Silently begging you,

Imploring you to see

That every mistake I made

Was an attempt to improve,

Though you did not approve.

 

Now I am a mother 

& my own children suffer

When I cannot control

The anger, sadness, fear, guilt,

The pain I feel 

At never being enough for you

For them, for myself,

Or for anyone at all.