Dear self in the self you were ten minutes ago
Why must you run away
Twenty minutes later is not a time to be found under the shower yet the water and seclusion feel so good bad yet bad good
Thirty minutes is half of half of two hours what next
An hour into this you feel the waves don’t you they take you onto their backs not so nice backs but filled with bones and jagged edges
Ninety minutes is a movie where did you go for fuck’s sake do you not see the time click click clicking by what have you done but sit here on this bed doing nothing but wallowing in it you ignorant ass you see this world will move without you and it has
Two hours should be asleep in sleep we find not much except the clocking ticking away to wake up. Wake up.
Three hours this is not a funny man in a funny house this is a dark place full of dark mice who don’t just pick at your shoes they find you asleep and pick at you you wake up and feel a bit different but you aren’t sure how or why and why is certainly the better question seeing as how not a whole lot makes sense yet you understand there is nothing more to understand
Six hours welcome home back to the why and why not. Why not stay up and eat more don’t run that treadmill you don’t need the treadmill the treadmill needs you! You don’t need to stay awake to see the sun set you sleep and your day is gone. You’re day is gone! You threw it away like the trash you are! You don’t have any physical desire why would you you leave it at home when you go out you leave it in the back like an old dress and it just sits there wasting away tick tick tick tock
Twelve hours. Tick tock. Where are you? Where are you going? This isn’t real is it.
Twelve hours and one minute. Tick tock. You aren’t real