I find my myself crying, lying in my bed grasping for a feeling that wont engulf me in sadness and telling myself, “it’s okay”. I’m Trying to pull my brain out of a state of madness but they tell me get over it, life happens. The more I climb, the deeper I fall when I slip up and fall back down the walls, all progress lost again. I can feel my screams shake my bones as I fall down, down, down, but no one else seems to hear them.
The smallest tasks always seem like such a challenge, constantly crushing the message of reassurance into my brain but it can’t comprehend the magnitude of pain that keeps dripping down, down, down, seeping into the very blood in my veins.
I feel like my body hates me, constantly keeping me awake at night and never letting me loose sight of the fact I might never be the same again, but who is it I should blame? It’s myself, for making my brain feel like it’s drowning every night again and again without a reason as too why it’s like this.
Maybe if you threw a rope over the wall I could have climbed out with more ease and in less time, but you never bothered helping me with a lifeline, but you’ll see the damage you caused me and my Brain in good time.
-Blue