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I hate it all.
It gnaws through my mind,
Enraging everything at fault.
But “no,” I said. “I’m fine”.
My irritations.
They’re eating me day by day.
Add in the frustrations.
These hours just wasted away.
It’s a simple play.
Then why the contradictions?
Not a single word to say.
So why bother with conversations?
Sometimes I wonder,
Wonder when I’ll stop caring.
Caring until it would hurt.
Hurt from my already pathetic life.
Such a mindset annoys me.
Me and my feelings.
Feelings as if it’s a sin.
Sin for everything I’ve done.
Yet again, I am here.
Wide awake on my bed, with my phone.
Words I’ve hidden, laced in fear.
Without another, for me alone.
Outside, I would smile.
It’s me, the side you see.
Inside, there are files.
Irretrievable, though never empty.
Useless distractions I get.
Talking with words not from my head.
Thinking I can’t wait until I could forget.
Then again it’s you, and it’s my heart instead.