(sobbing)
i just wanna go to sleep and then wake up the next morning and get ready for school.
i want to take a hot bath but i need to wash my hair.
i dont want to wash my hair but i need to and i did.
im having another demonic anxiety attack...
where i pull my hair and i scream bloody murder...
and scratch my face and kick walls...
and punch walls and cry for hours!!!
ive been thinking about seeing a therapist again for a while now.
i cant stop crying.
right now i just want to go to sleep and never wake up...
but then when i do wake up..
i dont feel like that anymore.
I AM NOT OKAY!!!
all because my brother cant wake the fuck up on his own!!!
he pushes me to this point!!!!
and my father tells me to do the dishes and my brother doesnt do shit!!!
my dad tells me to clean my room when its messy but doesnt tell my brother to do shit!!!
and hes 19 and im fucking 17!!!
i get really weak once in a while..
and today just needs to end already.
im sick of it!!!
i really am!!!
its just the little things that i hold inside that makes me explode!!!!
i just think about how there wouldnt be any more problems in the world if i wasnt on earth...