Loneliness.
A feeling I wish I didn’t know.
A feeling in the pit of my stomach
that spreads throughout my body
infecting my brain
with dark thoughts
and staining my pillows
with salty tears.
Loneliness.
A feeling that you left for me
as a gift when you walked away
a feeling as familiar as the empty hallways
as familiar as my mother’s cries for you
after you bruise her body
and smash the plates on our cold wooden floor.
Loneliness.
A feeling that doesn’t go away
even after he says I do
even after he kisses me goodnight
even after he tells me he loves me.
even after I believe him.
Because loneliness doesn’t care about love
doesn\'t care that he tries to fill the hole in my heart
doesnt care that he will never leave me.
Loneliness turns the facts into doubts
the forehead kisses into tears
the promises into arguments because Loneliness tells me I should be scared that he’s lying just like you did when you said you would stay and you didn’t.
Loneliness.
a feeling that doesn’t want to be lonely
so it stays
with me
always.