I try so hard to be okay
Trying to find someplace that isn\'t grey.
I have this empty feeling inside of me,
Something I\'m unsure of,
Something that scares me.
One day I\'m okay and everything\'s fine,
But after awhile,
It\'s back
I\'m back to square one.
It\'s actually not that I don\'t want to be happy.
It\'s that constant feeling of being sad and lonely.
Everywhere I go it\'s following me and I always find myself crying.
I sit and stare at a wall trying to figure out why.
Why I\'m acting this way,
Why I\'m sad,
I don\'t really know why
But I know it\'s there
Eating me up slowly.
I try to fill my heart with happiness
That will wash away all the hatred and sadness.
My world is so dark that I can\'t find the light
I\'m lost trying to find my way out
These thoughts are what haunt me at night
Especially when the lights are all shut
And all these overwhelming emotions I feel all at once start to make me cry.
I think about what everyone will do once I\'m gone.
Will they smile
Laugh
Cry
Or feel sorry for my family and I?
I know the old me has gone somewhere.
Somewhere far.
I just don\'t know how to get there.
But maybe one day we can meet again
And regain my confidence where I learn to love myself once more.