Fucking Attention Seekers

Fucking attention seeker, said those who did not care,
It’s such a tragedy said those who never knew,
How selfish, said those who snare
I wonder how the family feels, said those in the queue

They turn to me, and say with false sympathy
Oh did you hear? They committed suicide
They topped themselves, they said instantly,
Laughing as if I’ll take it in my stride

How fucking dare you, say I fuelled with anger,
It rises from my toes, and tears pour
Do you know how it feels, have a gander
Because I’m about to show you out the door

“Fucking attention seeker” you say?
No I didn’t know how to live my life without pain
“It’s such a tragedy?” Oh my days
That’s a fucking understatement for someone who’s slain

“How selfish” you say?
No anxiety, BPD, Bipolar, Depression are
“I wonder how the family feels”, oo nay
I’ll tell you how they fucking feel, I’ll go quite far

They feel guilty, they feel helpless
They don’t want your sympathy,
“I understand your pain” it’s endless
Bullshit! Don’t say it so flippantly

How dare you think you know,
You have no idea, any of it
How could you though
When you’ve not been on both sides of it

I wanted to die, I wanted to expire
It’s hurtful tar clung all around you
Grasping at your throat and your desire
To be alive, to eat, so my skin I cut through

She made me feel so hurt and furious
What happened will forever haunt
me, so no matter how much I want
to I won’t end my life, period