I have forgotten how to breathe without your hands to steady me.
A sharp inhalation of pain is all that brings me back to earth.
My brain has short-circuited in the haze of suicidal brain waves.
Every impulse cries out for another scar to brand my flesh;
Another outward reminder of the grooves you tore into my soul.
My own voice is drowned in the barrage of “crucify me” screams.
My mind held at gunpoint by the demon I created of myself.
Trapped in the roll of executioner drums pounding a deathly beat:
In, out
Up, down
Like my chest
Rise and fall.
You walked in, then out
I was up, then down
My lungs rise,
But forget to fall
I’m still holding my breath
Waiting for someone to stay.
I couldn’t cut out the pain in my veins,
The blood doesn’t flow anymore
Through my frozen heart.
I couldn’t out run the demon inside my brain
I can’t escape what my mind
Has become.
So I’ll breathe in, out
In, out
Breathe in, out
Please breathe in, out
In…