CeVi

Stuck

 

I can\'t get out of bed and I don\'t know why

my mind is telling me to move but my body is laid flat out

Like my soul is trapped in a prison of this body I am forced to call mine

each hour

each minute

each second

I can\'t explain my rage

I can\'t explain my emptiness

The feeling of I need to search for something

WHAT?!

I feel like my soul is scratching for a way out and it can\'t

I feel like I am wasting time

I am wasting another minute of my life again

waiting

hoping

searching

WHAT?!

I am screaming in my mind and can\'t understand the words

I am forcing myself to carry on when I can\'t

I am exhausted without any reasoning

I am failing with no cause 

except me

I am drowing and on fire with these nonverbal thoughts screaming at me

like I am some prisoner in a circus that is known as my body

I hear the laughing of others at the joke I am

I hear the breathing of my daughter asleep next to me that I know I don\'t deserve to hear

My soul is a prisoner in my body and I am screaming help but no one hears

I don\'t know why