Confess
Now that I have to move,
Why things between you and I blossoms beautifully like a sakura?
Why now?
Our moment was short and sweet.
I remember,
The way your touch lingered a bit longer than usual,
The way you nuzzled your cheek into my palm,
The way you snuggle into my arm.
You know what?
I really want to hug you
Since when?
Oh honey,don\'t even ask me.
It\'s embarassing to admit that,
I\'ve been wanting that since I knew you.
So I decided to fuck it.
I don\'t care,
I want it,and now I got the chance to do so.
Yeah it was just an impulse,
When I hugged you.
When I put my head on your shoulder.
I felt really happy that night.
I kept thinking about our moment
Like a teenage girl in love.
Therefore,
I didn\'t expect such event will happen in front of my eyes.
You got intimate with another girl.
Last Night
You snuggled your body to mine,
Silently asking for a hug.
Then I hugged you,feeling as content as I ever feel on my lifespan.
Because now,I got you on my arms.
This afternoon,
You gave a piggy-back ride to this certain girl.
You let her touch you like I did.
I feel mad,
I feel sad,
I feel jealous.
I was frantic as I was panicked that the rage I tried to surpress
Will showed up clearly,
As clearly as the brightness of the Sun
That lighten up the world
And make everything seen.
I knew you were looking at me when you did that.
I knew.
It\'s too hurtful for me to see that,
So I looked at my phone,
Acting like I see nothing.
I got up,and decided to do some cycling,
Rather than sit and drowning on a ball of rage and jealousy.
He\'s not officialy mine,afterall.
The next day
We went on a camp.
We met for a good amount,doesn\'t we?
And you got all cute and blushy
When I said \"Sweetie,I don\'t want the snacks. I came here because I want you.\"
But when the night came,
You let her feed you
The food that I cooked earlier.
\"It\'s great,\" you said,to her.
Not to me.
What is it all about?
Push and pull?
A game where you shall give the same amount of everything
Among two person?
Is that it?
Is this just a game?
My heart says that it\'s not.
But what can I do?
The fact that you won\'t let me pet your head when she\'s around is annoying me.
The fact that you\'re in some way closer with her is annoying me.
I feel annoyed when you\'re with her.
Again,
What can I do?
What is it all about?
Does this feeling called love?
A feeling where you
Being protective towards them
Wanting to cuddle all day long
A certain degree of longing when you aren\'t around
Looking forward for being together
Are those love?
Or just a familiarity?
Are those love?
Or just feeling safe?
But to think of it,
Maybe I\'ve never really got a chance.
To be with you.
To be yours.
To be your home.
Our religion is different.
It\'s stupid and narrow minded,
That this is the reason why I can\'t be with you.
It\'s ridiculous.
I hate this.
I\'m ready to go though.
Ready to leave.
I don\'t know what will happen though,
Are you gonna kiss me?
Are you gonna miss me?
Are you gonna cry?
I don\'t know.
Do I even matter for you?
What you sees me as?