Will i make it?
How will i make it?
What will i do ?
Pills seemed best at first, but more thought, and research online brought me to the “ suicide bag” -Also a good idea. Maybe carbon monoxide poisoning will be better though....
I can’t help but fine comfort in the fantasy of just bleeding out in a hot bath.
Years and years of new ideas, and feelings but this is the one scenario that i keep playing in my head. I’d be lying if i said it didn’t calm me down or make me a little happy knowing that this option is always there for me. Of course i think of Other situations, like shooting myself in the face, feeling the adrenaline rush through my fingers till i finally convince myself to pull the trigger. Getting a gun would be too much work though. Painless, but too much work. Pills would be easy enough but the suffrage leading up to it would have me wishing i did have a gun. Plus death wouldn’t even be a guarantee and that’s a risk not worth taking.
Brings me back to the “suicide bag”. Helium is easy and cheap enough to come by thanks to amazon prime. Then all id need from there is a large plastic bag so why not just go with that i guess. Easy, painless, and cheap. What’s not to love?
It’s not quick enough. I want to die now. I just want to be dead already. I’m late. I should have been dead yesterday, last week, last month, or last year. I’m late. I shouldn’t be here. I don’t want to be here. There’s no reason for me to be here.
Baths have always been my happy place anyways.