It’s so easy to get lost in my mind
I can’t stop searching even when there’s nothing to find
I feel like I should do what I must
But I don’t really know who to trust
I thought the voices would disappear
Yet when they do, I seem to lose everything I hold dear
My fears and insecurities float to the top
The screaming in my head won’t stop
My feelings are making me sink
And I seem to go deeper every time I think
Why is everyone so cruel
Am I really nothing more than a broken tool
I wish there was more I could do
Maye if I told them what I was going through
Every night I wake from a nightmare
I wake and feel someone’s stare
Maybe it’s nothing more than a dream
Maybe it’s more than what it may seem
Things I wish to forget now haunt me
I want to forget every bad thing I see
I felt fear in my blood
But I knew it had to be done
I’d make the bathroom flood
And it wouldn’t be fun
So I took the blade
And I cut deep
Making scars that wouldn’t fade
I waited to fall asleep
In those moments I heard a scream and a yell
I remember thinking I’d reached hell
I could hear the banging on the door
I could hear the panic as the blood covered the floor
I remember feeling light
I remember wanting to fight
It was my choice, I couldn’t take it back
And at the time it was a well-known fact
I remember changing my mind
Feeling so lost and having nothing to find
My mom was mine
And my death would be hard for her to define
I wasn’t falling asleep, yet I felt light
I’d given up my strength and stopped the fight
I wondered why as I began to cry
Was I so bad that not even death wanted me?
I guess I was so blind that I couldn’t see
I’ll never be more than I can be