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HangingbyaHalo

The End

Today I made sense of it,

You see I had been asking myself questions

Toying with ideas

Torturing myself

With what ifs and could have beens

 My mind is sometimes my worst enemy

Writing stories that never actually happened

Intricate play by plays of how it might have gone

 If only..

Stop!!!

I scream at myself

Just stop

 

It didn\'t

It couldn\'t

Because it happened how it happened and that’s just how it happened

 

Right?

 

The reality hurts more than the pretend play by plays.

There I can believe you loved me

I can believe that there is this majestic light that one day will shine in your mind

And you will magically turn into the man we needed you to be.

In these thoughts we were good enough,

You were strong enough,

To be the man your father failed to be.

This is why alone was uncomfortable

When my mind is not filled with things it needs to get done it focuses on you.

 

I still see your smile

 

The man that stole the breath from my lungs

1000 things could have happened to deter me from that moment

 From that day

From the long line of mistakes that crushed what we could have been.

But somehow with all the possibilities and improbabilities

I was standing there.

 

 

 

I can’t play the rewind game anymore 

And I am done chipping away at what is left of me.

 

I gave you everything I had

 

And I will never be able to re write the past

 

But what I can do

 

Is Hand you the pen and hope you change how the story ends...

 

-B-