Only fools fall
My entire life,
I’ve been fooled of the idea of love
and what I deserve.
A mentally gone father
who wasn’t strong enough for himself
or me.
I want to blame you
for never being there for me,
but neither were your parents.
You didn’t know better
because it was all you knew.
I’ve grown envious of daughters
whose first loves were their fathers.
They know what they deserve
and demand only that.
I thought I figured it out on my own
when I let the sweet talking boy
take me into his arms.
He saw I didn’t know what I was worth,
so he used that against me.
I was use to feeling less than,
thinking that’s what people who supposedly love you
make you feel.
I was blind for so long
until the feeling gnawed at my skin:
scars that became visible.
I became a burden to you
because I started to speak up for what I wanted
and what I deserved.
You couldn’t handle me anymore
because I no longer was stuck in your arms
like I was when you met me.
Now you’re both gone.
You would think
I’d be messier than ever before,
but you’re wrong.
I’m learning things about myself
to help me walk on my own with confidence
away from the broken glass
and towards a garden made just for me
full of endless love
that I deserve.