Yes, its the year twenty eighteen and not Nineteen forty-four
but comrades and friends, hear me out for I know not what to do
Do be kind and laugh you not, or raise your eyes or snigger like fools
the problem is, like Duke Philip, Mark Philips, Snowdon and Mike Tindall
I have known a Royal Princess for years and really like her very much
She is so sweet and nice, ever gentle, warm, kind and thoughtful
smart and clever, fun and playful yet regal and charismatic
and it is said, pardon moi, she has the sweetest honey pot, to boot
I know she fancies me too, for her intense eyes and actions tells me so
we talked, we joked, drink and laugh and share little tender touches
She lives in a grand little apartment and drive a lovely old car
well read, witty and engaging, she\'s fun and very good company
She,s impressively intelligent with a wide grasp of social issues and life
very versatile, she can turn her hand to anything and does things well
above all, she\'s a people\'s person, always sensitive to the needs of others
Alas, that was when for now in months, we no longer see or speak
for I am a coward, right through and thorough and not very bright
You see I am, though not longer said, a commoner born and bred
and to me and my kith and kin, its always has been \'us and them\'
And from birth, our tradition states, never the twain shall meet, so there
For if I show my real feelings to my Princess and be real, nice and warm
I shall, by my lot be accused of being impressed by \'them snotty lot\'
If I show I really care and want to be close and spend time with her
my lot will mock me to high heavens and call me a toady brown-noser
They will scream, crawler, fawner, he\'s just a flunkey and a groveller
Again, if with her I am real and natural as with all I know in my circle
they will say I am an arduous social-climber, being what he\'s not
And to boot, were I to be true to myself and have who I really want
I will be damned, shunned and labelled, a big \'Gold-digger\' true
Look at him, betraying his roots and all for shinning lucre from them
So being the coward, under-confident, paranoid, insipid under-achiever
traits, you all know and have, inherited from birth along with you all and our class
So what else to do, but drive my kind, real and genuine Princess away from me
I had to behave rude and shabbily to show I had no regard for \'them\' ones
I shouted and scorned to indicate I have no respect for any regal whatever
Its all show with us, so I put on a good show and reported back to my lot
oh, I farted in the Princess\' face and took the piss as we spoke, hahaha
Oh, I stood over the Princess and shouted and raved in public, hahaha
oh, I ignored her calls and never text or call her back, hahaha hahahaha
Oh, do you know, I shouted and slammed the phone down on her, twice, haha...haha
Wow, did I win bragging rights or what, I did not betray my roots, I tell you
I walk amongst my lot now with pride, and I can see they are all impressed
Some idiot said, hey! isn\'t the Princess just another human like you
did she treat you like that, are you not intelligent enough to see past labels
Have you ever heard, \'Do unto others as you want them do unto you\'
Alone by myself, I feel ashamed, I think about her and wished I\'d behaved differently
but what could I do, what\'s the right and correct thing to do in this situation
I am weak, I always need others, not confident enough to stand up for myself
Though educated, I am not intelligent enough to be self-assured, fair and measured
And all my insecurities means I need others attention, kinship and approvals
I love \'showing off\', I think most of us do it to make up for our inferiority complexes
Nothing beats being able to say, I disrespected those toffee-nosed ones
Though my Princess was very down to earth and never haughty, she is still one of them
But I have to be a working class hero or be shunned and given grief by my lot
After all, I am not Royal and made of sterner stuff. we are not born and bred that way
Hahaha.....hahaha....hahaha........yeah, I\'m the man! Who\'s your daddy, people?