a friend asks me
if i changed my name
because i hated
my old one
and i tell him that
i used to
because nobody could
pronounce or spell my name
and kids are mean
and they made fun of me
i used to hate my name
the way that it felt
foreign even on
my own tongue
and there were other names
i thought of going by
raven
ramone
dean
always masculine and so far
from those five letters
that i had been given at birth
but i don’t hate my name
it was a beautiful name
even though it was a girl’s name
and no longer fit
who i was becoming
i think i almost cried
when telling my friend this
and he held my hand
and i loved him so much then
i thought my heart
would burst
because he knew
i didn’t hate my name
i didn’t hate who i was
but i loved my name now
and who i was becoming
so much more
and we both knew
who i was
would be so proud of
who i am now