This is it, Your first day of school, kindergarten where the big kids go. It should be fun. The entrance is right there, just walk in. You are shaking, sweating and breathing way to hard, you walk in but instantly regret it. Bubble gum pink. It was everywhere on skirts, on dresses every girl had it on well not every girl. They saw. They pointed. They laughed. You didn\'t fit in. they teased you every day you wanted to tell your mom, she is too busy screaming at him. He left for the first time then came back again then left again and came back again this time with roses. The roses were just like there love only lasted a week or so. you watched him walk out the door a third time a part of you wishing he would stay another part you wondering if he will come back this time.
He didn\'t he was gone. He sent pictures of texas and his mystery woman but that\'s it. She wasn\'t any different. New man. New house. New possibilities. Terrible possibilities. The new one had an addiction not to love but to pain he drank poison and it took over his body and made him angry. I called him “the beast” that\'s what he was.
He made you watch he demanded you to watch. Watch his fist throw full force toward your mother\'s face. You cried. She cried. Nothing was perfect. You used to play a game with yourself you would count how much poison he could chug down before the beast is released it was always 11. You have always hated lucky 11.