When I was raped
I didn’t scream
I didn’t cry
I said
No
I said
No
I said
No
I said
No
He didn’t stop
I said yes
So I don’t know
If it was really rape
But the next day
As I was putting away the dishes
I fell down
And cried for three hours
When I told my friend
He told me I should have been more careful
Shouldn’t have gotten so drunk
Should have screamed or fought or anything
But the house was full of sleeping people
These were family friends
It all happened so fast and in slow motion at the same time
You always s learn rape happens in a dark alley
Violent and By a stranger
Not in your friends bed room
soft and not violent at all
my friend are tired of me talking about it
but I need to talk about it
because I feel ashamed if I don’t talk about it
feel like more of a victim less of a survivor
and I know
deep inside I know
im a survivor
and to talk about it
is to survive
it was three years ago
and I still have the memories
I still cant drink and have sex
My fiance still cant touch my breasts
But every day I grow stronger
Every day I stand taller
Every day I am
Survivor