I love Great Uncle Albert,
He is always so much fun,
We always dance and play,
And round circles I can run.
While Mummy goes off to work,
So he looks after me,
Mummy says we are so lucky,
He does it all for free.
Always has new toys,
He always has nice sweets,
He takes me to the park,
He gives me goodgirl treats.
He likes to play games,
Like taking off my dress,
And taking off his clothes,
So we can make a mess.
Even though I tell him,
That I\'m such a big girl now,
He takes me to the toilet,
So I can be the cow!
And he is the dirty piggy,
And I must give a moo,
Whenever I have a pee,
Whenever I have a poo.
The cow must then lay down,
Stick her legs up in the air,
And piggy comes along,
To lick her everywhere.
Because piggy loves to be,
All dirty in his sty,
And the lovely, lovely cow,
Should be all clean and dry.
Then we always go to meet,
What he calls Mr Toad,
Who likes to be kissed and kissed,
Until he\'s fully growed.
And when Mr Toad is ready,
To be so specially stroked,
When he\'s really, really happy,
His salty sauce is croaked.
I really like his salty sauce,
I have it on my toast,
Or sometimes on a biscuit,
But I like with chocolate most.
Then we can play with naked dollies,
And we can play on the farm,
With all the furry animals,
That live happily in the barn.
I hate to have to say goodbye,
It makes me really sad,
Great Uncle Albert makes school holidays,
The bestest best I\'ve had.