I love it in the morning,
I love it late at night,
I love it in the afternoon
When I\'m out in plain sight.
I love it in my bed,
I love it on the chair,
I love it spread on the table
With all the diners there.
I love it in the bath,
I love it in the shower,
I love it on the bidet,
With the flush at full power.
I love it safe at home,
I love it in the car,
I love it risky outside
With people not very far.
I love it at the seaside,
I love it in the park,
I love it in the graveyard
With the ghosts out after dark.
I love it down the pub,
I love it in the store,
I love it in the library
Where I mustn\'t scream for more.
I love it in the sunlight,
I love it out in the rain,
I love it under glinting stars
In the moonlight down the lane.
I love it with just one,
I love it in a three,
I love it with a gang
All taking turns with me.
I love it in the front,
I love it nicely round the back,
I love it with a double entry
Or a spitroast dual attack.
I love it nice and gentle,
I love it rough and hard,
I love it to take me places
Where I\'m gonna end up barred!
I love it with my favourite film,
I love it in silent appeal,
I love it with loud music
To drown out my every squeal.
I love it with the seniors,
I love it with the skilled inbetween,
I love it with the young
When they\'re well over sixteen.
I love it twenty four hours a day,
I love it seven days of the week,
I love it each and every season
Whenever my drive reaches its peak.
Ooh, I just love it!