A RESTAURANT CRITIQUE
A recommended restaurant with outstanding cuisine,
assurances given by all those who’ve been.
Original menu which changes each day,
value for money so the top reviews say.
So I took the advice and decided to go;
a report of my findings is given below:
Mixed Vegetable Soup served with a Partisan Roll.
Vegetables cropped in a questionable region
afloat in a broth of indeterminate origin.
A kiln fired roll with a rock hard crust,
exuding aromas of yeasty green must.
Lemon Sorbet
To cleanse the palette – well that’s the idea -
unappetising colour – far too slushy I fear.
Slow Baked Chicken with Thyme Jous, Seasonal Vegetables and New Potatoes.
The slow baked chicken was served up late,
the thyme jous wasn’t worth the wait.
Which season’s vegetables? - open to conjecture
not this season’s crop I would hasten to venture.
New potatoes – well I would certainly hope so -
but the colour suggests they were cropped long ago.
Profiteroles with Whipped Cream
Three balls of lard with cream injected
and the chocolate sauce – it looked infected.
Cheeseboard
The cheese looked dry and I heard myself mutter:
‘Not enough biscuits, and where is the butter?’
Coffee with Mints
An elixier coloured a dishwater grey
the aroma of chickory fermented in hay
And as for the mint it was really quite stale
complete with white bloom and as hard as a nail.
So marks out of ten -I’d give it just three
and that’s being generous – don’t you agree ?
- Author: Michael Edwards ( Offline)
- Published: January 8th, 2017 02:05
- Comment from author about the poem: Well I can't abide fast food restaurants with their junk food - I like real food. But even proper restaurants don't always get it right. Plus another of my watercolours of a local village.
- Category: Humor
- Views: 31
Comments11
well,as a restaurant manager/supervisor,retired
i can relate to this !
It is terrible when you spend your hard-earned money on over-priced, horrible "food". Good job Beautiful artistry as well.
I found it witty
Wonderfully written and expressed
Thanks to you all - we've all been there paying over the odds although part of me says I'd rather that than another dehydrated pizza or an indigestible beef burger.
You are a Gentleman Michael ~ but I would have named and shamed ! Loved your critique 10 / 10 for that. I teach "Food Science & Nutrition" and that meal was unbalanced ~ unhealthy and under / overcooked and I guess over priced. The food in our College Training Restaurants is always excellent and the "feed back" we get is always very good or excellent ! Thanks for sharing I enjoyed that ~ the poem NOT the meal ! Yours BRIAN
Wonderfully written! Enjoyed it greatly. -- phoenix
Thanks Phoenix and Brian - I'm actually feeling quite hungry now. Looks like I'd better book into your college Brian - always in London being a Londoner myself.
Terrific use of culinary words. Lots of fun. "Chickory fermented in hay". Great.
Thanks Augustus - can you imagine the smell?
No satisfying you is there? 🙂
I have a digestive system too; I can't be sure, but I think It may be coming out in sympathy.I hope it doesn't become too over active....
Excellent fun write, Michael - I can relate to that.
Cheers DD - It's the so-called jous and sauces etc which I find really funny. Usually take ages to lovingly prepare and then just a few blobs on the plate - never ever enough to make any difference to the dish - only there to make the plate look pretty methinks. What's the point?
To be able to comment and rate this poem, you must be registered. Register here or if you are already registered, login here.