I wish i never meant you

I wish i never meant you 

you hurt me I'm scared of you 

i was only 15 years old 

when you told me to lay down and stay there and don't say anything 

when all i did was cry because all the pain i was filling 

i told you to stop but you just keep going because you were feeding of the pain 

you were getting from me 

when you raped me more then once 

i had to take showers more the once to get the smell off of me but it didn't cover the scars that i had all over my body your hand marks where you pined me to the floor and where you cut me and tied me up to a chair

 i have nightmare every night i wake up screaming you took something away from me and i can never get it back 

i wish i never meant you so i didn't have to go trough this pain the scars that you gave me that i never wanted 

but 2 day after it happened my brother made take a pregnancy test and i came back pregnant 

with a little girl that i had at 16 years old i was still in high school 

my family told me i was to young to raise a child but i raised her until she was 4 years old and my brother

took her in until i finished high school i can have her back but he never gave her back i still get to talk to her and see her she is now 14 years old and i can see the moister in her but i also see me as well in her i love her so much but i still have the scars from when i was 15 years old and it will never go away.