Never meant to be

I'm not really sure what's happening I'm beyond confused these feelings shouldn't be here all this attraction should be gone but it's not I don't know what to do acting on it isn't an option ignoring it doesn't help the way I feel doesn't make any sense the relationship was toxic it ended horribly but my feelings never ended my love is still there unfortunately maybe it's not meant for me to be with anybody maybe I'm designed to function alone I've done it for so long I'm literally lost I've been lost I wish I could just figure this out getting angry and feeling jealous is wrong I have no right to feel that way I'm torturing myself I should just stop I need to let it go... I need to let him go there's nothing there for me anymore I never cross his mind I'm not an option I never was I was an easy out even when we were together you never loved me maybe you did I don't think so maybe you cared but not how I cared maybe you had feelings but they faded maybe it was me as to why they faded I don't know what to do at this point dwelling on it isn't going to help but what I do know is that I've got to make this stop