Comments received on poems by Beccadeepinside
I, II, III
Poetic Licence said:
I can only echo soren comment\'s, a really wonderful piece of writing
February 28th, 2025 07:20
Poetic Licence said:
I can only echo soren comment\'s, a really wonderful piece of writing
February 28th, 2025 07:20
I, II, III
Poetic Licence said:
I can only echo soren comment\'s, a really wonderful piece of writing
February 28th, 2025 07:20
Poetic Licence said:
I can only echo soren comment\'s, a really wonderful piece of writing
February 28th, 2025 07:20
I, II, III
sorenbarrett said:
This write was powerful and highly emotional pulling at the heart strings. It sends a timely political message. Using a child and mother separation is a very powerful image that all readers can identify with. Making the child young emphasizes the helplessness in the situation. Using the three points of view is masterful and highlights different perspectives of the audience. This makes it easier for people of all perspectives to identify with. Starting with the child presents innocence first and emphasizes the sense of helplessness. The mother next highlights the emotional difficulty of the situation. Any mother would identify with this. There is no stronger love than that of a mother through loss is the greatest loss. The soldier represents order and as such should order be sacrificed for compassion and the moral dilemma marginally resolved by turning the eye away and pretending not to see. Yet in doing so, exposing a young child to danger, predation, possible death and certain separation from family. Being vague as to the outcome adds further power to the imagination. This is a wonderfully written piece and merits a fave.
February 28th, 2025 04:00
sorenbarrett said:
This write was powerful and highly emotional pulling at the heart strings. It sends a timely political message. Using a child and mother separation is a very powerful image that all readers can identify with. Making the child young emphasizes the helplessness in the situation. Using the three points of view is masterful and highlights different perspectives of the audience. This makes it easier for people of all perspectives to identify with. Starting with the child presents innocence first and emphasizes the sense of helplessness. The mother next highlights the emotional difficulty of the situation. Any mother would identify with this. There is no stronger love than that of a mother through loss is the greatest loss. The soldier represents order and as such should order be sacrificed for compassion and the moral dilemma marginally resolved by turning the eye away and pretending not to see. Yet in doing so, exposing a young child to danger, predation, possible death and certain separation from family. Being vague as to the outcome adds further power to the imagination. This is a wonderfully written piece and merits a fave.
February 28th, 2025 04:00
Tremble
sorenbarrett said:
You have a powerful piece here with a great theme and you have chosen a great format in the repetitive use of the same line. However, because of this type of format I would suggest distilling the power of the lines, by pruning the least powerful or condensing them into fewer lines to increase the impact. Making the poem shorter will make it stronger. \"Less is more\" they say. Just a suggestion. Loved the poem
February 28th, 2025 03:42
sorenbarrett said:
You have a powerful piece here with a great theme and you have chosen a great format in the repetitive use of the same line. However, because of this type of format I would suggest distilling the power of the lines, by pruning the least powerful or condensing them into fewer lines to increase the impact. Making the poem shorter will make it stronger. \"Less is more\" they say. Just a suggestion. Loved the poem
February 28th, 2025 03:42
Tremble
Poetic Licence said:
That\'s a very haunting,sad and powerful write around a young child growing up in a abusive household, caused by the father and his drinking. In the poem you can feel the pain off all the family who have chosen different ways to get out of it. She has witnessed the death of mother and sister and her brother left her on his own and she could only see one way out herself. It is tragic ,sad and a heartbreaking write
February 28th, 2025 03:37
Poetic Licence said:
That\'s a very haunting,sad and powerful write around a young child growing up in a abusive household, caused by the father and his drinking. In the poem you can feel the pain off all the family who have chosen different ways to get out of it. She has witnessed the death of mother and sister and her brother left her on his own and she could only see one way out herself. It is tragic ,sad and a heartbreaking write
February 28th, 2025 03:37
