Comments received on poems by LP2187
Shithole
Cheeky Missy said:
The germ of poetry in your soul looks past the ugliness on all sides into the mists for hope and the trail to yonder. Anyone can see the trash abounding and wretched characters spoiling all. That said, excellently rendered in variable stanzas with sparse imagery and a haunting poignancy. Thank you for sharing.
January 29th, 2025 14:08
Cheeky Missy said:
The germ of poetry in your soul looks past the ugliness on all sides into the mists for hope and the trail to yonder. Anyone can see the trash abounding and wretched characters spoiling all. That said, excellently rendered in variable stanzas with sparse imagery and a haunting poignancy. Thank you for sharing.
January 29th, 2025 14:08
Shithole
Poetic Licence said:
No worries about the language, shithole you might feel today, but it`s better than no where to live, hope you have a good evening
January 29th, 2025 13:28
Poetic Licence said:
No worries about the language, shithole you might feel today, but it`s better than no where to live, hope you have a good evening
January 29th, 2025 13:28
I am not myself
NafisaSB said:
hope you graduate to something more cheerful soonest
short but powerful verse
January 29th, 2025 07:23
NafisaSB said:
hope you graduate to something more cheerful soonest
short but powerful verse
January 29th, 2025 07:23
I am angry
Cassie58 said:
It is fine to be angry, but it is not fine to be so angry you want to kill. I agree with Tobani, I would suggest you talk to someone about your emotions. Just talking can help. Please look after yourself.
January 28th, 2025 15:50
Cassie58 said:
It is fine to be angry, but it is not fine to be so angry you want to kill. I agree with Tobani, I would suggest you talk to someone about your emotions. Just talking can help. Please look after yourself.
January 28th, 2025 15:50
I am angry
NinjaGirl said:
It\'s normal to feel this way... but it feels so wrong. I love the big text versus the little text.
January 28th, 2025 12:13
NinjaGirl said:
It\'s normal to feel this way... but it feels so wrong. I love the big text versus the little text.
January 28th, 2025 12:13
I am angry
Tristan Robert Lange said:
I love the format of this poem. As I see it, the way this poem is structured, it almost presents two poems in one. For example, one poem:
I am angry
I want to kill
But why?
the second poem
I am wrong
I want to die
What is wrong with me?
When read separately, then together, it presents an inner dialog happening within someone. Anger is such powerful emotion that it can cause us to experience all sorts of feelings, including that of killing. All people experience these emotions. Thankfully, few ever carry them out. Of course, that is where I see the other part of the poem coming in, because it recognizes the inherent wrong with wanting to kill someone, which then causes one to feel remorse or the thought and exasperation at their situation. That internalizes to not wanting to live anymore. The thought of killing another turns to thoughts of suicide and the existential question that one going through such turmoil would ask, \"What is wrong with me?\". The good news for us poets is that our craft allows us to get such stuff out constructively and positively. Some may not see this poem as positive, but if it 1) helps the poet get that kind of stuff out of them constructively in a healing way and 2) allows others to feel connected when feeling such things, then this is as positive of a poem as can be. Thank you for sharing this, and being willing to make yourself vulnerable. It is a wonderful poetic expression my friend. An easy fave for me.
January 28th, 2025 08:42
Tristan Robert Lange said:
I love the format of this poem. As I see it, the way this poem is structured, it almost presents two poems in one. For example, one poem:
I am angry
I want to kill
But why?
the second poem
I am wrong
I want to die
What is wrong with me?
When read separately, then together, it presents an inner dialog happening within someone. Anger is such powerful emotion that it can cause us to experience all sorts of feelings, including that of killing. All people experience these emotions. Thankfully, few ever carry them out. Of course, that is where I see the other part of the poem coming in, because it recognizes the inherent wrong with wanting to kill someone, which then causes one to feel remorse or the thought and exasperation at their situation. That internalizes to not wanting to live anymore. The thought of killing another turns to thoughts of suicide and the existential question that one going through such turmoil would ask, \"What is wrong with me?\". The good news for us poets is that our craft allows us to get such stuff out constructively and positively. Some may not see this poem as positive, but if it 1) helps the poet get that kind of stuff out of them constructively in a healing way and 2) allows others to feel connected when feeling such things, then this is as positive of a poem as can be. Thank you for sharing this, and being willing to make yourself vulnerable. It is a wonderful poetic expression my friend. An easy fave for me.
January 28th, 2025 08:42
Remember the pain
Tristan Robert Lange said:
Wow! Indeed. This poem is so powerful because it is specific enough to gently guide the reader but broad enough that the \"pain\" could be anything. It is a wonderful poem that reminds us to look to the margins, to those suffering. The remembering is also, as I see it, a call to be proactive in the present with those currently lying in the shadows. Well done on this, my friend! πΉπ
January 28th, 2025 08:28
Tristan Robert Lange said:
Wow! Indeed. This poem is so powerful because it is specific enough to gently guide the reader but broad enough that the \"pain\" could be anything. It is a wonderful poem that reminds us to look to the margins, to those suffering. The remembering is also, as I see it, a call to be proactive in the present with those currently lying in the shadows. Well done on this, my friend! πΉπ
January 28th, 2025 08:28
I am angry
Poetic Licence said:
Truly if that is how you are feeling, finding someone close to open up to, would be a starting point, angry is fine, wanting to kill suggests help is needed, take care
January 28th, 2025 08:27
Poetic Licence said:
Truly if that is how you are feeling, finding someone close to open up to, would be a starting point, angry is fine, wanting to kill suggests help is needed, take care
January 28th, 2025 08:27
Remember the pain
Cassie58 said:
A most fitting senryu on today of all days. Never forget the unspeakable horror of the millions who perished. A most poignant piece LP2187.
January 27th, 2025 17:19
Cassie58 said:
A most fitting senryu on today of all days. Never forget the unspeakable horror of the millions who perished. A most poignant piece LP2187.
January 27th, 2025 17:19
Remember the pain
Poetic Licence said:
And we must remember there loss always ( never forget the horror). Very poignant and sad piece.
January 27th, 2025 16:53
Poetic Licence said:
And we must remember there loss always ( never forget the horror). Very poignant and sad piece.
January 27th, 2025 16:53
Remember the pain
ακ«ΖΊκ«α₯α₯κ« said:
Yep, they lie in shadows or Heaven
January 27th, 2025 14:08
ακ«ΖΊκ«α₯α₯κ« said:
Yep, they lie in shadows or Heaven
January 27th, 2025 14:08
Shout and cry and grieve
Poetic Licence said:
Hopefully the writing can help ease the situation, it is a good thing to acknowledge you do not feel ok and you are allowed to feel that way. Hope you have a better week.
January 27th, 2025 02:45
Poetic Licence said:
Hopefully the writing can help ease the situation, it is a good thing to acknowledge you do not feel ok and you are allowed to feel that way. Hope you have a better week.
January 27th, 2025 02:45
Shout and cry and grieve
arqios said:
Writing does help. And itβs ok not to be ok. We find strength and hope in various ways. Thanks for sharing πππ»
January 26th, 2025 09:09
arqios said:
Writing does help. And itβs ok not to be ok. We find strength and hope in various ways. Thanks for sharing πππ»
January 26th, 2025 09:09
Peace
sorenbarrett said:
A very powerful recognition and statement. When there is nothing to loose then there is no fear. Deserves a fave
January 25th, 2025 13:41
sorenbarrett said:
A very powerful recognition and statement. When there is nothing to loose then there is no fear. Deserves a fave
January 25th, 2025 13:41
Peace
Cassie58 said:
I find strength and hope in your senryu. Nicely composed.
January 25th, 2025 11:10
Cassie58 said:
I find strength and hope in your senryu. Nicely composed.
January 25th, 2025 11:10
Peace
Tristan Robert Lange said:
Yesss! A wonderful senryu, my friend. I personally needed to read these words! πΉπ
January 25th, 2025 09:55
Tristan Robert Lange said:
Yesss! A wonderful senryu, my friend. I personally needed to read these words! πΉπ
January 25th, 2025 09:55
Hopeless tears
Tristan Robert Lange said:
Haiku and Senryu are very similar in that they both are 17 syllables long tercets (5-7-5). In a haiku, there is supposed to be a seasonal reference (kigo) and a cutting word (kireji) which, there is no direct equivalent in English. The kireji is supposed to create a pause, so this is usually achieved with punctuation, or sometimes even left out of an English haiku. A senryu, on the other hand, follows the same structure, but it does not include a kigo or a kireji, and the theme of a senryu is centered on human nature, emotions, relationships, and social issues, as opposed to the haiku which is centered on nature and seasonal elements. Of course, there are overlaps between the two, but that is the basic difference. I hope this helps. So, with that said, this is a mighty fine Senryu, my friend. One I can relate to and, also, one that answers its own question. The feeling of inadequacy can be a killer. I haven\'t known you long, but I can tell that you are MORE than enough! I am thankful our paths have crossed! πβ€οΈ
January 23rd, 2025 08:26
Tristan Robert Lange said:
Haiku and Senryu are very similar in that they both are 17 syllables long tercets (5-7-5). In a haiku, there is supposed to be a seasonal reference (kigo) and a cutting word (kireji) which, there is no direct equivalent in English. The kireji is supposed to create a pause, so this is usually achieved with punctuation, or sometimes even left out of an English haiku. A senryu, on the other hand, follows the same structure, but it does not include a kigo or a kireji, and the theme of a senryu is centered on human nature, emotions, relationships, and social issues, as opposed to the haiku which is centered on nature and seasonal elements. Of course, there are overlaps between the two, but that is the basic difference. I hope this helps. So, with that said, this is a mighty fine Senryu, my friend. One I can relate to and, also, one that answers its own question. The feeling of inadequacy can be a killer. I haven\'t known you long, but I can tell that you are MORE than enough! I am thankful our paths have crossed! πβ€οΈ
January 23rd, 2025 08:26
Hopeless tears
Mutley Ravishes said:
What if your Imagination
Is waiting
For you to wake it
Up?
January 23rd, 2025 05:49
Mutley Ravishes said:
What if your Imagination
Is waiting
For you to wake it
Up?
January 23rd, 2025 05:49
Hopeless tears
arqios said:
When the tears flow freely we come to a new realisation of self. Hope all is well. ππ»ππ»π
January 23rd, 2025 04:05
arqios said:
When the tears flow freely we come to a new realisation of self. Hope all is well. ππ»ππ»π
January 23rd, 2025 04:05
Hopeless tears
orchidee said:
Ooh I dunno - it\'s all foreign to me - haiku, senryu, whatever! Ask a more cultured poet what\'s the difference. lol.
January 23rd, 2025 03:43
orchidee said:
Ooh I dunno - it\'s all foreign to me - haiku, senryu, whatever! Ask a more cultured poet what\'s the difference. lol.
January 23rd, 2025 03:43
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