Comments received on poems by nair36
-Unfinished Italian Sonnet-
Cheeky Missy said:
It\'s a lovely beginning, yet both wants a finish and some editing to put it into shape.
Thank you for sharing, I enjoyed it.
October 9th, 2022 16:18
Cheeky Missy said:
It\'s a lovely beginning, yet both wants a finish and some editing to put it into shape.
Thank you for sharing, I enjoyed it.
October 9th, 2022 16:18
Rabbit Holes
baj-a said:
as dark and frightening as this poem is it is also beautiful in the flow of the words that defy the anger and darkness.
April 27th, 2013 07:44
baj-a said:
as dark and frightening as this poem is it is also beautiful in the flow of the words that defy the anger and darkness.
April 27th, 2013 07:44
Building Blocks
Cheeky Missy said:
Lovely, especially with that rich refrain hammering home the half elusive concept of starting over yet repeating mistakes sans learning, as it were. Too perfect, if that is the thought, since seems what Scripture indicates regarding being drunk, hauntingly because that has severe spiritual implications. Beautifully rendered with excellent imagery, subtly eloquent in disarming simplicity effectively delving deeper. Thanks for sharing. I rather like it.
ttfn,
Jenny
April 25th, 2013 20:56
Cheeky Missy said:
Lovely, especially with that rich refrain hammering home the half elusive concept of starting over yet repeating mistakes sans learning, as it were. Too perfect, if that is the thought, since seems what Scripture indicates regarding being drunk, hauntingly because that has severe spiritual implications. Beautifully rendered with excellent imagery, subtly eloquent in disarming simplicity effectively delving deeper. Thanks for sharing. I rather like it.
ttfn,
Jenny
April 25th, 2013 20:56
Building Blocks
sokibgb said:
/great poem. Loved everything about it. Have agood day, soki
April 25th, 2013 07:30
sokibgb said:
/great poem. Loved everything about it. Have agood day, soki
April 25th, 2013 07:30
Glass Man
diamonddagger said:
great tale of how they treated psychosis in the past and I loved the title. I could picture everything in the poem so you know your imagery is A1. Take care and be proud of your writing. It's fantastic. diamond
April 24th, 2013 17:15
diamonddagger said:
great tale of how they treated psychosis in the past and I loved the title. I could picture everything in the poem so you know your imagery is A1. Take care and be proud of your writing. It's fantastic. diamond
April 24th, 2013 17:15
Building Blocks
diamonddagger said:
great meter and rhyme in this rather troubled poem. I enjoyed reading it very much. The repetition made it seem like a song. In fact while reading it aloud I found myself reading in a sing song voice, Have a happy day. diamond
April 24th, 2013 16:58
diamonddagger said:
great meter and rhyme in this rather troubled poem. I enjoyed reading it very much. The repetition made it seem like a song. In fact while reading it aloud I found myself reading in a sing song voice, Have a happy day. diamond
April 24th, 2013 16:58
Glass Man
Cheeky Missy said:
Densely laden with excellent imagery and very thought-provoking, more haunting perhaps seeing, curiously enough, I just wrote a sonnet this evening in tribute to earlier nasty hospital experiences. If I may be so bold, the stilted fashion and rather inverted phrasing lacing this lent my lower rating since I was instructed to avoid such manners and write in as straightforward a fashion as possible, and as is only sensible. While I realize that may have been due to the end-rhyming, yet it devalues the intensity of the poem since it makes it poorer than it might be, a near masterpiece too rough still, seems to me. Hope it goes well nonetheless when it is exhibited. Thanks for sharing. Puir feller, my heart goes out to him. Lovely.
ttfn,
Jenny
April 23rd, 2013 22:34
Cheeky Missy said:
Densely laden with excellent imagery and very thought-provoking, more haunting perhaps seeing, curiously enough, I just wrote a sonnet this evening in tribute to earlier nasty hospital experiences. If I may be so bold, the stilted fashion and rather inverted phrasing lacing this lent my lower rating since I was instructed to avoid such manners and write in as straightforward a fashion as possible, and as is only sensible. While I realize that may have been due to the end-rhyming, yet it devalues the intensity of the poem since it makes it poorer than it might be, a near masterpiece too rough still, seems to me. Hope it goes well nonetheless when it is exhibited. Thanks for sharing. Puir feller, my heart goes out to him. Lovely.
ttfn,
Jenny
April 23rd, 2013 22:34
UV Rays
Cheeky Missy said:
Because you are clever and witty enough to signify more than readily meets the eye, though this is classified as a "love" poem, it leaves my head spinning, the imagery capably expressing the beauty of life and light in their symbiotic relationship, as it were, though in truth, they are united since the LORD is both, if I understand correctly. If this symbolises the beauty of romance between you and your beloved, fabulous rendering; if something else, fascinating and yet elusive, intriguing. Lovely and beautifully clever with wonderful imagery. I like it very much. Thanks for sharing.
ttfn,
Jenny
April 12th, 2013 19:19
Cheeky Missy said:
Because you are clever and witty enough to signify more than readily meets the eye, though this is classified as a "love" poem, it leaves my head spinning, the imagery capably expressing the beauty of life and light in their symbiotic relationship, as it were, though in truth, they are united since the LORD is both, if I understand correctly. If this symbolises the beauty of romance between you and your beloved, fabulous rendering; if something else, fascinating and yet elusive, intriguing. Lovely and beautifully clever with wonderful imagery. I like it very much. Thanks for sharing.
ttfn,
Jenny
April 12th, 2013 19:19
UV Rays
baj-a said:
and this poem blooms with such beauty! the imagery is wonderful!
April 12th, 2013 08:16
baj-a said:
and this poem blooms with such beauty! the imagery is wonderful!
April 12th, 2013 08:16
Ivory Combust
sokibgb said:
Excellent poem. Loved the last line. Thanks for sharing, soki
April 11th, 2013 16:34
sokibgb said:
Excellent poem. Loved the last line. Thanks for sharing, soki
April 11th, 2013 16:34
Ivory Combust
Cheeky Missy said:
Villanelles are familiar as a term, should also be as the form itself since I have chanced to read a sufficient number to know what their specs are, but I honestly could not judge it on that score. Aye, while immorality flirted with dreams and whores, something else whispered a metaphor that yet eluded my comprehension....is it Spring? Or one of the other seasons?...since she plays with winter's garb yet robes herself with verdancy as it were...am I close? Yet your concluding line leaves my head still spinning. The ashes of lust...got me. Lovely and beautifully rendered with excellent imagery. Thanks for sharing.
ttfn,
Jenny
April 10th, 2013 22:11
Cheeky Missy said:
Villanelles are familiar as a term, should also be as the form itself since I have chanced to read a sufficient number to know what their specs are, but I honestly could not judge it on that score. Aye, while immorality flirted with dreams and whores, something else whispered a metaphor that yet eluded my comprehension....is it Spring? Or one of the other seasons?...since she plays with winter's garb yet robes herself with verdancy as it were...am I close? Yet your concluding line leaves my head still spinning. The ashes of lust...got me. Lovely and beautifully rendered with excellent imagery. Thanks for sharing.
ttfn,
Jenny
April 10th, 2013 22:11
Mask
diamonddagger said:
beautiful in it wistful sadness. I think you did pretty good on the sonnet.
April 10th, 2013 13:03
diamonddagger said:
beautiful in it wistful sadness. I think you did pretty good on the sonnet.
April 10th, 2013 13:03
Mask
baj-a said:
awesomely intriguing images that haunt the reader! If I had to pick a favorite line it would be this one...
Heavens flush its system for the weathers
I found that line particularly intriguing.
April 10th, 2013 08:00
baj-a said:
awesomely intriguing images that haunt the reader! If I had to pick a favorite line it would be this one...
Heavens flush its system for the weathers
I found that line particularly intriguing.
April 10th, 2013 08:00
Mask
Cheeky Missy said:
Aye, is this a sonnet? If I may dare to try to assert anything, seems we'd all be best off adhering to the original standard of iambic pentameter. That aside, it is indeed sad, the mask so many realize we are essentially forced to wear for society's sake, more the pity when we can not even take it off at home. Haunting and thought-provoking with excellent imagery, it is rather heart-wrenching and subtly hard-hitting, beautifully rendered in poignancy. Thanks for sharing, I enjoyed it.
ttfn,
Jenny
April 9th, 2013 21:01
Cheeky Missy said:
Aye, is this a sonnet? If I may dare to try to assert anything, seems we'd all be best off adhering to the original standard of iambic pentameter. That aside, it is indeed sad, the mask so many realize we are essentially forced to wear for society's sake, more the pity when we can not even take it off at home. Haunting and thought-provoking with excellent imagery, it is rather heart-wrenching and subtly hard-hitting, beautifully rendered in poignancy. Thanks for sharing, I enjoyed it.
ttfn,
Jenny
April 9th, 2013 21:01
Why Must You Whisper
Cheeky Missy said:
Having chanced on this earlier when it was all slid together as MPS aka P&P is wont to do, disregarding formats, I was too impressed. Now that you've aligned it to read so deliciously as sonnets (which incidentally I adore, if well done) it is all the more a nearly entrancing pleasure to read, though, as per the form, rather over my head since you've utilized the opportunity to delve deeper and realms I'm unfamiliar with, or else your metaphors handily elude my comprehension. That blather aside, impressive, wonderful...but a crown was originally either 10 linked or most recently 15 linked sonnets, the 15th being a sonnet of the first lines of each of the previous sonnets. I confess here I have only begun a crown and made it no further yet than three or four sonnets. Very lovely and thought-provoking with fantastic imagery. Thanks a ton for sharing. I'd love my own copy to muse on alongside Keats and Shelley.
ttfn,
Jenny
April 8th, 2013 23:37
Cheeky Missy said:
Having chanced on this earlier when it was all slid together as MPS aka P&P is wont to do, disregarding formats, I was too impressed. Now that you've aligned it to read so deliciously as sonnets (which incidentally I adore, if well done) it is all the more a nearly entrancing pleasure to read, though, as per the form, rather over my head since you've utilized the opportunity to delve deeper and realms I'm unfamiliar with, or else your metaphors handily elude my comprehension. That blather aside, impressive, wonderful...but a crown was originally either 10 linked or most recently 15 linked sonnets, the 15th being a sonnet of the first lines of each of the previous sonnets. I confess here I have only begun a crown and made it no further yet than three or four sonnets. Very lovely and thought-provoking with fantastic imagery. Thanks a ton for sharing. I'd love my own copy to muse on alongside Keats and Shelley.
ttfn,
Jenny
April 8th, 2013 23:37
Her Eyes
diamonddagger said:
You have a very open mind. There is power is in this very beautiful piece of poetic prose. and like baj-a said it could be a sequel to her poem tripped. You should read it and see what she means.
April 5th, 2013 23:15
diamonddagger said:
You have a very open mind. There is power is in this very beautiful piece of poetic prose. and like baj-a said it could be a sequel to her poem tripped. You should read it and see what she means.
April 5th, 2013 23:15
Her Eyes
baj-a said:
powerfully intriguing! the imagery is very vivid and as cheeky missy said potent. this could be the sequel to my poem Tripped :-)
April 5th, 2013 07:25
baj-a said:
powerfully intriguing! the imagery is very vivid and as cheeky missy said potent. this could be the sequel to my poem Tripped :-)
April 5th, 2013 07:25
Her Eyes
Cheeky Missy said:
Very different style than I am accustomed from you. That said, is it your new hand as it were? Lovely and deliciously laden with fascinating, potent imagery. I love the humor in the final sentence, as if you could ransom her, and thereby yourself, some unknown moment, and thence face reality together. I love how it is her eyes...because a certain pair some years ago well-nigh entranced me, though you may laugh, for he did NOT thank me, hahaha. This half reminded me of those eyes; I've paid tribute to the effect in a sonnet set and another rhyme, they were just too deliciously alive, though off limits. Hope in this case the speaker actually finds his deliverance and the finely chiseled goddess smiles sunnily and walks into forever with him. Thanks for sharing.
ttfn,
Jenny
April 4th, 2013 19:22
Cheeky Missy said:
Very different style than I am accustomed from you. That said, is it your new hand as it were? Lovely and deliciously laden with fascinating, potent imagery. I love the humor in the final sentence, as if you could ransom her, and thereby yourself, some unknown moment, and thence face reality together. I love how it is her eyes...because a certain pair some years ago well-nigh entranced me, though you may laugh, for he did NOT thank me, hahaha. This half reminded me of those eyes; I've paid tribute to the effect in a sonnet set and another rhyme, they were just too deliciously alive, though off limits. Hope in this case the speaker actually finds his deliverance and the finely chiseled goddess smiles sunnily and walks into forever with him. Thanks for sharing.
ttfn,
Jenny
April 4th, 2013 19:22
Plumbs and Peaches
Cheeky Missy said:
La, are you active elsewhere or only here? I rather miss you now that I've checked in for a moment and read this. I could almost half return to recapture the fun lost two years ago now, excepting I still struggle with the memories that make this an empty playground for me. That said, I absolutely love this! Lovely end-rhyming as ever and decent flow, the delicious scene of romantic intimacy too winsomely rendered and endearing as the speaker opens his heart, which I only hope she reciprocated. Thanks for sharing. Hope all's well.
ttfn,
Jenny
By the by, you know I'm active on Poetfreak.com instead of here? I'd love to have you there since I hang out there, excepting its a rough environment, though friendly.
April 3rd, 2013 19:27
Cheeky Missy said:
La, are you active elsewhere or only here? I rather miss you now that I've checked in for a moment and read this. I could almost half return to recapture the fun lost two years ago now, excepting I still struggle with the memories that make this an empty playground for me. That said, I absolutely love this! Lovely end-rhyming as ever and decent flow, the delicious scene of romantic intimacy too winsomely rendered and endearing as the speaker opens his heart, which I only hope she reciprocated. Thanks for sharing. Hope all's well.
ttfn,
Jenny
By the by, you know I'm active on Poetfreak.com instead of here? I'd love to have you there since I hang out there, excepting its a rough environment, though friendly.
April 3rd, 2013 19:27
Plumbs and Peaches
diamonddagger said:
very intriguing and thought provoking poem. I enjoyed reading it very much. I am glad I found you lurking among the poets here. LOL keep penning. diamond
April 3rd, 2013 18:31
diamonddagger said:
very intriguing and thought provoking poem. I enjoyed reading it very much. I am glad I found you lurking among the poets here. LOL keep penning. diamond
April 3rd, 2013 18:31
Unfinished
Cheeky Missy said:
Wowers! I'm in love with this intriguing unfinished symphony (you know where that came from right? google it if not). Awesome imagery and fabulous metaphors for what exactly? I'm thinking, the garden of Eden? Seriously, I love this. Too beautiful, eerie, ominous, foreboding, enticing, tantalizing, lovely. When you've updated or tweaked it further, let me know.
February 23rd, 2012 23:43
Cheeky Missy said:
Wowers! I'm in love with this intriguing unfinished symphony (you know where that came from right? google it if not). Awesome imagery and fabulous metaphors for what exactly? I'm thinking, the garden of Eden? Seriously, I love this. Too beautiful, eerie, ominous, foreboding, enticing, tantalizing, lovely. When you've updated or tweaked it further, let me know.
February 23rd, 2012 23:43
My Prayer
lynn said:
Powerful! I enjoyed this one very much. Sounds like you are owning up to your mistakes and taking ownership of your actions. I don't guess that was easy. You are an amazing writer.You write with so much feeling and emotions. I love your poems.
February 20th, 2012 22:57
lynn said:
Powerful! I enjoyed this one very much. Sounds like you are owning up to your mistakes and taking ownership of your actions. I don't guess that was easy. You are an amazing writer.You write with so much feeling and emotions. I love your poems.
February 20th, 2012 22:57
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