Mind made up

I saw pictures that day ...

I saw happy, smiley, family life photos that made me smile and cry and ache all at once. 

I saw memories, I saw good and I saw bad but I saw and I felt. And I feel... I think I feel or I did for a moment. 

I smelt the rain, I felt peaceful, the world was quiet I heard the stones catch in my boots as I walked.

I listened to music that day, but the words were different this time, wrapped in nostalgia each song took me somewhere, a different stage from the past. 

I day dreamed, I tried to remember what got me to this point, I lost bits of myself along the way each time a part of me erased until there was nothing, no one could see I was already dead...I had nothing left to lose, my mind was made up.