Don't Pull the Trigger

You know what's weird?

How one sentence could start a deep friendship,

Someone who means absolutely nothing to you today, could mean the world to you a year from now,

Today, you could look at your phone and see that someone left your message on read and say:

"Oh, they didn't reply. Whatever,"

And yet, six months from now if they did that, you'll be panicking,

Today you may not care about what he's doing, who he's with, or what he's thinking,

Next summer, you'll want to know what he does every second of his life,

You'll become jealous of every female he knows,

And if you had a choice to meet your favorite singer or know all of his thoughts, you'll choose to know his thoughts,

You'll find it so precious to see pictures of him when he was a kid,

Even more precious to see something he wrote in middle school,

When he likes a picture you posted, you feel a little high,

Even though a little while ago, you wouldn't care a bit whether if he did or not,

You'll want to know all about the woman who broke his heart,

Even though you're still jealous of the memory of her,

But you know what's scary?

When it reaches this point, you automatically surrender to him,

Because you have to trust him not to break your heart,

And even if you give him everything,

It doesn't mean that he still wouldn't break your heart,

And if he breaks it,

It's like a part of you dies,

And he may break it slowly,

It's one of the most terrible feelings in the world to know that while you're crying,

He's making some other girl laugh the way he made you laugh,

He's making plans with another girl like how he made plans with you,

He's telling her that he'll always be there for her the way he told you that,

He'll have you thinking that you're flawed because he found another,

Your favorite song won't sound the same anymore,

Everything you do will remind you of him,

It could take you months to fall for him, but years to forget him,

It's like giving someone a loaded gun, let them hold it to your heart and you have to trust them not to pull the trigger,

Yeah, that to me is scary.