about a boy

i hug you

on tiptoes

with arms around your neck

like “girls do”

but i haven’t been a girl

since i was 7 years old

and i know that how you see me

doesn’t match up with

who i used to be

 

and the first time i

hugged you like that

i told you

i loved you

smelling like 11.5 hours

marinating in other people’s food

and you said you knew

when i said the day was horrible

 

and i want you to know

i didn’t mean for this to happen

heart eyes you don’t notice

talking about you like

you’re a new favorite book

pages i never want to stop

running my hands over

papercuts be damned

 

but i love you

for your long hair

black as ink

and other metaphors

and i wonder if you’d let me

run my fingers through it

like some cheesy romance novel

 

i love you

for your smile

and how you smile at me

still laughing at my lame jokes

about how queer i am

 

i love you

for how you said you

just have to

sing along to

in the danger zone and

the wall between us

hid a grin so wide

my cheeks hurt

 

and i love you

even though i know

this will never go anywhere

because i’m never going to

tell you

 

just how much i love you

just how much i want to kiss you

just how much i miss you

when you’re gone

 

and just how much i hope

you might love me back

enough to let me

be yours