a coming into greatness story

i. hello, my name is- (what is my name again?) my name is- my name is- sometimes, i don't remember my own name. everything that i am washes away my name like the ocean against the shore. my name is girl on a bus staring out at her future unfolding. my name is girl on a bus on the cusp of her own greatness. my name is girl on a bus terrified of everything unknown (including her future). my name is girl on a bus knowing she is the future and knowing that her fear will only make her stronger. my name is Isabelle. my name is Isabelle, girl on a bus, girl at a party, girl slipping on pajamas, girl biting her lip and tasting blood, girl who is afraid of her own potential but ready, ready to have more courage than fear.

ii. i am sixteen. ten years ago we had to put my dog down and i learned that death is something tragic and heartbreaking but you will survive it. six years ago, i met a woman who changed the entire course of my life simply by teaching me that my voice is powerful- that i am powerful. two years ago, i moved to an entirely new place and it taught me that change is nothing to fear. one year ago, i took a step towards being someone better and i have not regretted it.

iii. i am the future. i am the future. i am the future. i am on the cusp of greatness and i am ready to leap. 

iv. i am a girl on a bus, sixteen years old and realizing how far i have come in those sixteen years and realizing that there is so much more to come. i am a girl on a bus, sixteen years old and realizing that i am afraid, yes, but also that i am ready. i am a girl on a bus, sixteen years old and i am not going to let this world pass me by. i am a girl on a bus, sixteen years old and i am not just another wave in the ocean. I am the storm that knocks out power to entire cities and i am the earthquake that turns history to dust and writes a new chapter and i- i am not just another wave against the shore that dissipates. and maybe, maybe i am not quite a hurricane or an earthquake but i am a person, and maybe, that is just as powerful.

v. i am sixteen. three years ago, i was ready to cut ties with everything i knew and start anew. three years ago, when i sat on ledges i couldn't help but want to jump. three years ago, i stopped eating lunch. three years ago i told my therapist, i am a rock in a river and the water is wearing me down into nothing. and yet, here i am. three years later, and here i am with power in my footsteps and a heart full of hope. three years later, and here i am, coming into my own greatness. three years later and here i am, a storm in my own right. i am no longer the rock, i am the river. if there is no way, i will make one.