The end

The end.

I’m sorry for everything under the sun.

But most importantly, I’m sorry for who I’ve become.

I’m sorry that I can’t overcome my childhood trauma. 

I’m sorry that I’m the cause of all the drama 

I’m sorry that I cause so many fights.

And keep you up all hours of the night.

I’m sorry that there may be something wrong with me

I think you’ll be happy to know that soon there may come an end to my anxiety.

What you don’t know that I’m seriously scared as hell,

That I’ll no longer have to lock my feelings inside of a jail cell 

I’m scared because what if they fix me, 

but you don’t love who I become

What if you loved me for my uncontrollable anxiety,

Or the fact that when I get nervous I chew on my thumb.

What if you were attracted to The girl who was weak and tripped over her words and fell on her face

Not the one who overcame all the obstacles she faced

What if me being weak made you feel strong

And if I learn to cope on my own, you won’t feel like you belong

However I don’t know if I’m more scared of being broken or not,

On one hand i could be fixed for good but I have another thought

What if they say nothing is wrong

What if I’m doomed to never feel like I belong

What if this is just who I am?

I guarantee that dealing with me will get old in the end.

That’s the truth I have to repress

Because if I tell you how I feel, all of your feelings could digress.

I’m not ready for you to leave, 

But either way, 

that is the only ending that I see.

-JD