Drowning

From the start I always knew who you were, every sad song I hear its like its meant to be our verse. It's so ironic because you probably don't even care that I am hurt, talking so dishonorably about me to your baby daddy and dragging my name through the dirt. Trying to make me sad like a person I'm not, I know this game and your just mad that you got caught. I would love to hear the things you said when he was taking it off, sometimes I really fucking wonder if I was ever even a thought. Or was I just somebody that you knew you could use, seems like every choice you ever made was based soley on you, two sides to every story but my side is the truth. I don't have a clue, who you became tore me into two. And that's fine, okay, you just go do what you want, no you come back running the first sign that I'm gone. You don't want me when I'm here, but you do when I'm gone, I can't understand lately because I am drowning in my thoughts. 

So we play the same game again, think your changing but then you do the same again. Need a pad and pin for this awakening. You don't even need to speak because your actions can. No I can see through everything that you did, and when I say it this time I am really done with your shit. So go ahead, drink party, maybe post a pic, just a matter of time before you see all the truth in this. Your real friends aren't real, just as real as you are. Only there for you when your getting drunk at a bar. Wish your life away while you forget everything in your heart. The thing that hurts me the most is I didn't know any of this from the start. Because I was love blinded, thinking this was perfect timing. When I look up at you now I see your true colors shining, still, I'm going to miss it. Changing the past in a instant. But you just go on with your life like me or us never even existed. 

I know I made my own mistakes too, but that doesn't excuse the things that you do. You always play me, then betray me like its nothing to you, all my life I have only ever opened up to a few. Turning the page, you can't even act your own age. Making up more lies then the makeup on your face. You drink and drink and drink and drink till he's grabbing on your waist. How the fuck do you say you love me, that was never the case, right? And now here we are married and after 2 months of us your telling me you need space. But how can there be love in divorce when we both thought this was fate?