The Box

The hardest place I've ever found myself

Is in the box

Taped up, labeled, tossed to the side

Judged, final statement

You are what you are

Which sounds a lot like, you always will be

No room to improve or grow or change

Just fit into this box made for you

Contain yourself

Fill out this checklist and say the right things

Which can just as well be wrong

As long as it fits into a box that can be ticked

Or one of those self evaluations

'In the last two weeks, how often have you felt/thought' 

I've thought and felt quite a fucking lot actually,

Please don't diagnose, relabel me again 

I just want to feel normal but I don't know what that is, teach me how to fit into this tiny space, 

I just want to know that there's a place for me here, 

In this spherical atmosphere, how did all the boxes take shape if there are no edges? 

It just seems so fake 

I'm either too big to fit in or too small to be noticed 

I never say the right thing at the right time

Instead I spill out of the box, overflow with the inappropriateness of simply being me

Which of course is absolutely socially unacceptable

I just don't know how to be

My whole childhood I was told I was square

But if I was to describe myself as a shape

I'd probably be a hectagon 

My edges are not infinite but there's a hundred of them 

And I never know which side of me will show 

I feel like my sides are caving in and I can't breath

I'm being killed by my inability to decide which form to take, 

How best to take up space 

Where do I belong? 

I don't know where I'm going but I feel like I'm exploding 

I can't just change to please other people and I can't change if I don't know who I am in the first place

I don't know where I fit in 

If life is a box it's a parcel I am yet to receive

I tried signing up and I've tried signing out 

Either way, my box is yet to be delivered